|
from
Into Stillness
Everything passes away, I forget, I lie down. In order to die,
in
order of death, the passing of horizons into vertical truths.
Syllables list, key to pronouncements, to swinging in place or
standing still with every falsehood and cashmere dress. To uncloth
and
redress every wound and glee and neuter the dead. I am dying, I
forget. Alone with me you. You settle me down and we recite our
recriminations, the day you closed the door locked, the afternoon
I
spanked the monkey, the eve the moon knocked. We listen in our briefs
long. We abide the tic of your lip in perpetual twitch and my hip
in
swing. This we do for one another for alone. Kicking the bucket
and
pulling the teeth, better now than leaden, vase cracked beyond glue.
When you lie beside mine, I am forced to remember a more truculent
bed, bumps that force the blood of truth. When you lie aside, I
tarry
longer in the doorway, setting my gaze on the garden, wanting to
pick
apart patches, to weed out the ripe. Pitted as such, but do not
pity
me. Bite the soft spot, but watch for pits.
Seed me with your dying that I may remember the host. Uninvited
guest,
I stay, guess, speculate on material worries and accept your offer
of
a drink with a toast jellied with sublime. Onward, ho! Remember
the
Alms! A snitch of time! We clink grasses, cut the yawns, inspire
and
wipe the other’s brow.
Blame cuts across the garden, takes the path most traveled, most
averse. We sing loudly, stanzaically, prose intended for the
upper-crass. We do not mind. We do the body in order of dying, of
passing beyond lips and hip gyrations, below the wind of my stare
and
your thumb pointing down. Communion in community, the veil lifted,
face reviled for bounty, the many veils parting aside the robe of
matter. Robbery if anything less. Bribery if anything more suitable.
Removal of offal and awesome, disrobery. I cannot lie, nor you.
You
cannot pass away, ignore me. In our millennial bed below the slow
close the moon nodding off...
This body remembers.
This body bends over backwards crosses space to embody another
reaching in stretch in grasp letting go consider caress and push.
In
the transgression one supposes to wink in the dilation of muscled
edges and flesh softening. This body hears voice and stomp as blocking
none too sonorous twisting from side to wide. Echo but no fall.
Opening that closes the door and lifts the window to still point
as
attentive ear. How is one to double? How when doubt interferes like
static during symphony like dried out during rain like kiss that
finds
no lips?
This body kneels to ground and dig in hole to burrow what’s on
loan in
bend an afterthought into bellow. Bent knees bend needs to want
less
or nothing left to be rented. Buy one and all impropriety if
opportunity arises like a stalk seeking sun, like a hand seeking
hold.
How many times is how many times? When as how to which. In the
unseemly shadow and mostly forgiven link of blood and bone, tried
and
removed.
An answer pursues a question, but misses the exit, the train of
thoughtless.
A body rests against bark, leans forward to generate touch that
releases hold.
When she caught her breath, she let it go.
When her thoughts raced, she held up a clock for good measure.
With the beat of heart, she tapped its code and understood nothing
as
the same as a misunderstanding or scant attempt at putting forth
what’s hidden beneath the face of appearances. Such a lowly ruse,
she
surmised. How slowly it dawned on her that despite any cling to
branch
or root that she had to dislodge and shred every evidence of prove
it.
The line between possible and impish delight she knew to be a hair’s
breath, insightful as a rat’s flea. Nothing beckoned in the rehearsal
that no one showed forever in interminable delay. Wait not what
is
wanton. A simple mistake no less than mere miscalculation. Such
equivalencies baffled unlike the thorn of scratch which left tracks
of
pain. But she was beyond the righteous quibble and took to walk,
to
sway hip and heal, to lesson the overmore between placing her beside
herself, exiled from home. She wished none such fate to none such
a
one because she better in knowing nothing…
Closer to still.
My body is sacred. Mine self be tree. Branches root toward sky
detritus. Mine body mine in the deep shaft and dark haunts with
drip
drip cool, inner heat helloing goodbyes and welcome my body ah.
Ah
body, ah.
Abdominal rest, belly rise. The rise and set pause between crust
and
core, granite and silt, eons and ore. Ether or amen opens gate and
aha. One not a one alone. Two in see to the listener be tree. A
gain
in prone and spin every lost a gain. The spin in still, the line
piped
in past sealed. No dam it. No dam, yes sir-ree. Rishima. Zimzum.
Satori. Rishima. Zimzum. Satori. A mend to the ways. A mend to distill
the disquieted, trembles and quakes, explosive ferments flourishing
like weeds, rocks loosened.
Abdominal rest, belly fall. Tree of discord twined in brilliance,
a
looming ray, gray with overt, avid, avoid. Mud beyond impression,
impress beyond mad. Benign quarrying, querulous, quay. Cuts into
her
skin cuts into mine.
Shefa for shekina for tikkun. Not for the taking. Shefa ahem. Amen
ahem. Abdominal rest, body beside body, touch beyond tease, arrival
as
soon as depart, depart saming return. Aha body, ah.
My spin stills me. Ah swears against reasons, rips away discord,
uproots the rots and desiccates the falsely inflated. Spin as lip
against cheek against breath against pronouncing the silent, crippled
and maintained, started and waned, the obvious poke and sting in
shadows that slip out from behind the curtain into neither limp
nor
lame nor lung blackened by shoulds but the yes of aha.
My body whose. My body where. Your tongue licks me dry...
the dream of my invisibly in this my dream us. in this. hope not.
my
invisibly dreamed ism. in this my dream us the terrain of steppe
of
wilderness of stone and glow. of this earth of visibly no divisiveness
no dividing your couch from my lantern, your car from my fence,
no
contracts drawn out to pale. this vividly individual daisy or
hermaphrodite. this vivid recall of uncalloused skin for sleek meeting
of lips beyond shade. this envisioning steps out its skin its hidden
purpose its hide you go see you’re it you’re not but another’s more
deserving you slapped wrist.
in this my us of trembling lids this view visions this incidental
detail of blur of clarity. this visibly aligns the body. this visibly
declines the malign denial of flesh. a returning dream. a bloom
stemming from foot upon root in neither decline nor askance.
oh bare oh bare this ism. a turn of your head a return from my
seem...
a happenstance by chance happens. a heroic feat diffuses the defense.
a chortle or gasp, criterion or mouse. fills up like a vase without
cup like a jaunt with no gait, no gracious knees. be devil in the
details. a happenstance a happiness a lap left on the doorstep in
the
right of way wronged by the righteous.
i dropped myself off at the cleaners for a quick spin and iron.
i
trashed the unrecyclable the unreclaimed of uncalm. i tossed boredom
over the rail to the waves, lost myself in the drown of no face.
myself whose glee, herself sleeps past three, himself hissing hymn.
together a part of play with kids owning age and findings lose out
a
gain. this an incrimination of gestalt, a witness from a by standing
on feats yet to achieve, a chant refusing mum. ah e i ger.
interpreted as mal nor mas que. or in tiegle or a suppository
inserting up the sublime derriere. up column up combine up and coming
consort.
this body felt the fleeing, the disregard the closed doors during
the
parade past influency. told to look away with an eye closed and
mouth
best kept busy without gum. where spins along spine, when longs
for
the time. each and every each and effervesced version of virility
and
stuffed bully at the taxidermy.
unarmed in stretch, head turning with temple of felt before known
no
or why not. before the cord, the afford credibly challenged and
indelibly unmasked to reveal the face of the world.
marriage of heaven and help, ouch with oh say can you see past
answers
and questions, grass and sand, grasp and sand, quench and thirst...
arguably the most advantageous schemes addressing numinous
entitlements, an upheaval of the wheelbarrow rolling uncontrollable
down a hill, is spade is a clover. brought before the commission
the
author on politeness on doubling pamphlets lengthwise.
the jury’s ousted sentence drew to question the feet fleeting toward
webbed toes for greater drift, sink or swim, sink or sweetly. arguably
the most schematic advantage with innumerable addresses, a two wheeler
borrowed to toll the limit, a spade is always.
committing to the author whose potential for leaving promptly before
the hour’s up or a lengthier stay. concomitant with a sentence
entitling none to regard the uphill battle, the schism that divides
in
attempt of conquer, a conjuring up positions that resist the larger
caustic claim.
an ostentatious display of the criminal mind at work on the play.
ground for selling keys, a thieving of beliefs released before their
temerity or dates shown due. how impolitic and despiteful. the spin
in
lock, the spin under lock and house, benefits without pardon, impolite
and despicable, though rightly so in the rigidly defined manifesto
of
mud and grime.
the jury comes to their hurry with bloodshot eyes and shuffling
woes.
speak not want not. not the unbreakable, still, toss, bleed, and
return to the safety of numerical quandaries easily quantified,
readily stuffed in the draw back.
in no sense
non sent
onion
spoke the speaker.
on the count of one, count to three.
in no
sent to belief
repeated the repeater.
we bereave this persons to be guileless and unworthy of tree planting
platitudes. we aggrieve this pension to be ample to explain
confounding clues like barbed wire, missiles, the clenched jaw,
limbs
in amiss. this person should appeal like an onion and no tears shed
but the applause of a sharpened knife...
everything passes a way forget the swing and winged sway in ribbed
bribery. against the sin again the singularity of doubt dumping
severed limbs sacralizing the charnel ground. dust to dent, dirt
to
fierce unimaginable majesty. didn’t always dozens.
the glass cracked, the vase unglued. legs in press, legs impress.
they piss to plot and insist on despot
and trip on each other’s woes.
what he did what she could do. what done doze away, wind under
ways,
wind under tread upon fern, trampled twig off lift. the vital vial
the
quench of thirsts. body in like in lieu of doing done and being
birthed undo. so long so love, some song some imbue in arias and
throated clarity, the mote crossed for the reign unchained.
thirty found dead, thirty thousand more dumped overboard in legislated
acts. numbers conceal the cost and cravenly mad sanity.
crushed bones, smashed tombs. everything passes i deny my own death
rattles as gasp, grab, or yawn. i unsettle this mo this meant no
trail
of tears. only this
point the way this body in naked embodiment...
|
Cheryl
Pallant